How to Give Negative Feedback
The ability to deliver feedback is critical to the success of leaders and their teams. Positive feedback helps to laud team members for wins and to acknowledge them for taking risks and pushing themselves out of their comfort zone.
Developmental feedback (many times considered “negative feedback”), on the other hand, is the rocket fuel that helps each of us grow and improve. Delivered callously, developmental feedback becomes “negative feedback” that can prevent people from making needed changes as they start to fear future rounds of criticism. When delivered with nuance and finesse, developmental feedback is a powerful tool that drives the continued growth and success of individual team members.
As a team of San Diego based executive coaches, we work with clients to help them to improve their communication skills overall including the ability to deliver feedback in a constructive manner. Below are several tips to help you deliver developmental feedback so that your team members can continue to grow and thrive.
How to Deliver Developmental Feedback
1. Create a Safe Space
Most people fear receiving developmental feedback as it can feel overly negative and judgmental. As humans, we seek and adore praise but find it difficult to hear negative things about ourselves. When we do, we tend to get defensive and put up walls that prevent us from truly “hearing” the feedback. To prevent defensiveness, create a safe space when delivering feedback. Don't force it into a short session immediately before a stressful meeting or while facing a challenging deadline. Set aside ample time to have a thorough conversation. If your normal meetings are 30 minutes, set aside an hour. Also, go into the conversation with a service mindset and not one focused on compliance. Take the stance of a coach who is using the feedback to help them improve rather than to highlight performance gaps.
2. Position Feedback in Service of Development
To clarify, there is no “negative” feedback, only feedback that is in service of individual development. Years ago, I dreaded the part of my annual performance review focused on what I needed to improve. After the first half of the conversation focused on what I had done well, I feared the hammer of judgment that would wash away all of the positives. I viewed this as “negative feedback” even when it was listed under the header of “Performance Improvement” or “Growth Areas.” Over time, I learned to embrace this part of the performance review as it was the insight I needed to get better. As a leader, let your team members know that feedback is in service of their growth, not a personal attack on who they are as a person. It’s “developmental feedback” and without it improvement is impossible. Framing it in this way will reduce defensiveness, increase listening, and drive the adoption of needed changes.
3. Make it a Choice
Ultimately, it’s up to the person receiving the feedback what they do with it. Dump it into the mental dumpster or lean into it and commit to making needed changes. Providing your team members with a choice will provide greater ownership of the changes and accountability to make them.
4. Provide Time and Space to Ask Questions
In delivering feedback, be sure to provide time and space to ask questions. Feedback conversations are not one-way monologues where you rattle off a long list of items to improve. Rather, they should be a rich dialogue with lots of back and forth and questions. Allow your direct reports time to clarify, confirm, and challenge any and all feedback. Questions to probe deeper as to what needs to improve, why it needs to improve, and how to get there. Feedback can be tough to receive in the moment, so offer time to reflect and circle back the following day or week. Feedback isn’t a one and done conversation. Provide an open door to follow-up on specific points of improvement as well as big picture themes.
5. Build a Development Plan
Delivering feedback without a plan to take action is a waste of time and effort. Be sure to partner with your direct reports to address the feedback by creating a development plan so that changes can be adopted. Ideally, the development plan integrates into regular goal setting and learning and development efforts. Either way, the development plan is a roadmap that you can use to guide ongoing growth and change.
6. Prioritize Focus Areas
Feedback can be overwhelming, either due to the sheer number of comments from a 360-feedback survey or because it doesn’t align with the view someone has of themself. To help get started, prioritize the most critical areas as well as those your team members are ready to tackle. Change is ultimately up to them and it will be easier and more successful if they start with the ones they already accept and are willing to put in effort to address.
7. Coach to Success
As a leader, it is your job not only to deliver feedback, but also to coach each person to success. Provide coaching and support to help your direct reports close any developmental gaps while acknowledging their progress along the way. Commit to their success and hold yourself accountable for doing so. Use regular one-on-one conversations to offer support and ask questions such as “How can I help support you and your success?” and “What resources can I provide to help you address [note feedback area]?” These coaching conversations should be focused on your team members’ growth agendas (not your own) and what they want to achieve.
8. Make it a Habit
Make the delivery of feedback a regular occurrence and not just a conversation that takes place once per year or quarter. Thread feedback into regular check-in conversations so that real-time course corrections can occur leading to rapid, iterative growth and development. Also, inspire your team members to solicit feedback from you, their colleagues, other leaders, as well as partners and customers. As they do, be sure they shift from asking, “How did I do?” to “What is one or two things I could have done better?” Specific questions will yield actionable feedback in place of general commentary or comments like “You did well.”
Feedback is a powerful tool to drive ongoing, rapid development of your individual team members. Be sure to apply the tips above to ensure it is well received and intentional effort is applied to address the “developmental” feedback. Doing so will lead to the continued growth and development of your direct reports as well as the team overall.