How to Resolve Conflict within Teams
Left to fester, conflict has the ability to destroy working relationships and teams. Conflict erodes trust, prevents productive collaboration, and undermines the ability of teams to innovate and deliver on the overall company mission.
Even in its least toxic form, conflict is a productivity killer for managers and team members alike. According to one study, managers spend 25-40% of their time dealing with conflict and the average employee burns 2.8% of their week on conflict. Imagine the productivity gain if your teams could recoup even part of the time spent on conflict?
The productivity gains alone make dealing with conflict a worthwhile endeavor. Factor in improved relationships yielding greater collaboration and innovation and resolving conflict becomes a leadership imperative.
Below is a series of steps that leaders can use to resolve conflict between team members.
Conflict Resolution Steps for Leaders
1. Step Out of the Norm
To help resolve a conflict, start by stepping out of the typical work environment. Doing so can start to disassociate the situation and environment triggering the conflict from the people involved. That’s not to say that all conflicts are created because of the work and the environment, but meeting in a new environment can provide a fresh start to have a productive conversation. Also, be sure to schedule the meeting (in person or virtual) at a time when all parties can focus on the conversation without the worry of looming deadlines or an upcoming meeting.
2. Adopt a Switzerland Mindset
As the leader, it’s critical that you don’t take sides and avoid any perception of doing so. If there is any appearance of siding with one party, you will lose all credibility in coaching them through the conflict. To ensure you stay neutral, focus on the outcome you want to achieve (creating a productive working relationship) and not what actions created the conflict in the first place.
3. Conduct Pre-Calls with Each Person
Prior to convening a joint conflict resolution session, be sure to meet with each person independently. Use those meetings to gain agreement on the outcome you seek to achieve from the group conversation; reestablishing a positive working relationship, resolving a misunderstanding, etc. In addition, give each person time to voice all of their concerns about what happened in the past and air all of the “he said, she said” comments. Doing so allows each person to feel truly heard, but also ensures that the group conversation can focus on the future and creating a positive path forward. During the conversations, be sure to capture each of the issues that are undermining a positive working relationship; mistrust, poor communication, lack of support, feeling undermined, etc.
4. Start by Finding Common Ground
In many conflicts, there is so much water under the bridge that the gap between the parties seems unbridgeable. To start to bridge the gap, find one thing that both parties agree to; creating a world-class customer experience, building products that spark pure joy, or making an impact on the community through advocacy or educational programs. Finding common ground provides a small but meaningful step forward and helps to elevate the conversation above the conflict to focus on what matters most.
5. Define Future Success
The past is the past and unfortunately can’t be undone. Start to build a bridge forward by defining the relationship between the parties in terms of future success and as a way to prevent future conflicts. Oftentimes, there has been such an erosion of trust that the word “relationship” seems out of reach. Defining a positive “partnership” can be more achievable after which a working relationship can be rebuilt. As you co-create a future-looking relationship or partnership, identify themes that will support it; trust, assumption of positive intent, directness, candor, support, transparency, etc.
6. Identify Positive Behaviors
Once you have co-created the themes of a forward-looking, positive working relationship, have each person identify behaviors they would like to see from the other person that exhibit that theme. For example, a behavior exemplifying “trust” might be “When you hear something about me from one of our colleagues, come to me directly and don't let it become gossip.” To help define behaviors from a list of themes, ask your team members, “What behavior would you like to see from [Name] to start to build trust?” or “What does directness mean to you and how can [Name] be more direct?”
7. Use Nuance to Prevent Defensiveness
Words matter, especially when dealing with conflict. As you lead the conversation, encourage each person to choose words that ensure that the request or concern will be heard by the other person. While directness is important, it’s also critical to put in the extra effort to prevent defensiveness. Add words such as, “I would really appreciate it if you would…” or “Because I care about our working partnership…” It may seem unnecessary and even annoying, but making the extra effort will help start to resolve the conflict and forge a positive future.
8. Create a Partnership Charter
Go beyond mere words and codify this new future-looking partnership by creating a Partnership Charter. Successful charters include a partnership objective as well as a set of behaviors and standards for each person to uphold. Before moving forward, ensure that both people are in agreement with each of the items and that living up to the terms of the charter will ensure a positive partnership.
9. Commit to Change
Close the session with commitments to the partnership and also determine what happens when one (or both) party fails to live up to their agreement. This is a critical step as it creates permission to transparently discuss any transgressions and determine what can be done to get the partnership back on track and prevent the issue from happening again.
10. Flag Violations
Encourage regular one-on-one meetings with both people to discuss the partnership and to ensure it stays on track. Asking questions of each other such as, “In what ways have I lived up to our agreement recently?” and “In what ways have I fallen short?” will keep the commitments top of mind while creating safety in entering challenging conversations. No one is perfect, so encourage them to give each other grace if one or both parties fall short. One misstep doesn’t mean the entire partnership and agreement should be discarded.
Conflict is incredibly erosive to individual, team, and organizational performance and can lead to a toxic work environment characterized by mistrust and a lack of engagement. Leaders have an opportunity to coach their team members through conflict and to create a positive, engaged work environment. It takes time and intention, but following the steps above can break through the conflict logjam and get your teams back on track.